Talk to Me

Every time I think about this particular friend I want to pick up the phone and call her.  We used to work together.  We have Super Bowled and enjoyed other sporting events together.   I went to her son’s last-minute out-of-state wedding.  We  have comforted and encouraged each other when our strong-willed, spirited sons had us pulling our hair out.  We have laughed about the maniacal driving habits of our husbands.  I have been the only non-family member at their family reunions.  We were tight and always knew what was happening in the other’s life cycle.

Well, she retired a while back and we see less and less of each other.  Then we stayed in touch with email updates.  Then she started sending those impersonal chain emails that brought good or bad luck determined by how quickly you forwarded to whatever number of people.  As pesky and sterile as they were, I’d give a personal note in my response.  Now those don’t come my way often enough. 

There is a void when we talk now and the conversation seems strained.  Our time together has been limited and we are not current on life’s events. 

Do you have someone you have fallen out of touch with?  Have you tried to bridge the gap?  How?  Was it worth the effort?

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4 Responses to Talk to Me

  1. phidiva says:

    Yes, I have several “former” friends who are absent in my life now. I have tried to rekindle the relationship with some of them and it was not worth the effort. (Except this one relationship, we rekindled and its like we never parted.) The other relationships (some of them were with friends I thought I couldn’t live without!) have totally fizzled out. When I tried to talk, there were awkward pauses, etc.

    I finally realized that those past relationships had run their season. I was no longer the same person I was when we met. Maybe that is what’s happening with you. Your friends maybe at the same place. You, however, have moved on…

  2. mamasez says:

    When I read your comment I immediately thought of the saying that a person is in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Many reasons have come and gone. I will have to let those acquaintances go, The season of helping and being helped has been completed. I can still count the lifetime friends, the lifelong friends on one hand. Thanks for your input.

  3. It’s hard in the grand scheme of things because sometimes we go through things in life we don’t want to tell anyone…not even out best friends. So when things like this happen with my best friend from childhood that I suddenly haven’t talked to at all in 3 years I try to remember a few things: 1) even if I’m not going through something maybe she is…and maybe she doesn’t want to talk about it. 2) it’s probably not about me. In our own lives everything (or most things) are all about us/me because we’re feeling it, but our friends are having those same all-about-me moments that we don’t always share, yet want someone there for. 3) seasons, reasons, whatever. In the end we all need/want our close girlfriends to be there unconditionally. Or maybe just I do? 4) often reaching out and just saying “hey, I know things aren’t always perfect, but I’m always here to listen” goes a long way. I can’t count the number of times I’ve needed to hear that even as a 35 year of woman.

    • mamasez says:

      Thank you for giving me a different perspective for consideration. I had not taken it tothe level of maybe she needs me to reach out. Maybe there are things in her life beyond words.

      How selfish of me. I will make a move to connect and probably apologize for not being there sooner.

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