For years there have been whispers. Whispers from a persistent nosey family-minded cousin that my late brother had a son. Every third or fourth phone conversation we have he’ll say “Let me ask you a question” and proceed with the “did-you-know-about” interrogation.
I have heard the rumors for years, since the 1960’s. No one has ever given me specifics–names, dates, locations, contact info. So I go with what I have — nothing. Fast forward to yesterday. Cuz calls and tells me that the son that my brother fathered, my nephew, is dead and has been for 15 years or so. So I say I’m sorry to hear of his death. What else can I say? That’s all I have.
But wait, the conversation is not over. He was visiting a church, was introduced and of course his last name was used. When service was over, lo and behold, one of the choir members came to him and says she is the daughter of my brother.
My immediate family is small and I would love the opportunity to see it increase. He got her contact information and says he’ll be in touch. Translation of his in touch: he immediately calls me and says he wants me to have the info. OK, I’ve got it. Now what do I do with it? Since there has been no contact, is this believable? Can this be true? Would you make contact? Have you found relatives after years of no contact or relationship? A niece? I need your help.
Mama Sez 
Wow! To have heard the murmurs for 50 years, then realize that your nephew passed 15 years ago to a new niece is alot!! I’d probably do as much investigative work as I could before calling her. Is the mother still living? Anyone else who can “verify” the validity of her claim? I would definitely call her though.
No one that I’ve asked over the years have names of possible mothers for the nephew and I have not asked about this new-found niece.
I will investigate and see what stones I can turn over for information. I’ll keep you posted.
I emailed her the day said nosy family member called me. I haven’t heard back.
If it were one of my brothers who’d been a rolling stone, I’d definitely try to contact the child. Even if she is half a century old.
I would follow up…unless you are Oprah’s mother…then you act like it never happened 🙂
We have made the initial contact. The ball is in her court. I’ll keep you posted.
*delurking*
My father told me at the age of 40 that I have an older “half-sister”. Philandering father who was also career military *sigh*.
We talked over the phone and communicated through email for 3 months before meeting.
When we finally met, in a crowded lobby of a hotel, I knew immediately that she was my sister. I picked her out of the crowd. She looks just like our youngest sister.
That was 3 years ago.
Thanks for stopping by. I’ll definitely be updating. I may even need some advice from you.
Just remember that the same questions/concerns that you all have about her are primarily the same questions/concerns that she has about you all.
Another thing that helped with us (in my opinion) is that we were all adults when we met. We had seen enough, been through enough to recognize “messiness” when we saw it yet, still keep our minds/hearts open to possibilities.
By the way…..I am in Arkansas..not too far from Pine Bluff.
Email me if you would like more info.
I am waiting for her to respond to an email I sent her. So far nothing. We have strong genes. When I see a picture I feel confident I’ll be able to tell one way or the other.